Sunday, April 22, 2018
Defining Consent Violation, Sexual Assault, and Rape
This article contains a detailed discussion on the nature of consent, consent violations, sexual assault and rape. While specific cases are not discussed, theoretical examples and explicit descriptions are used for clarity and may be upsetting to some readers. Reader discretion is advised.
The terms “consent violation,” “sexual assault,” and “rape” are bandied about often, but without a clear understanding of the specific definitions of each term, vague language can lead to a less serious situation being mistaken for a more serious situation or a more serious mistaken for less, and the consequences of a misunderstanding in either direction can be profound.
The purpose of this article is to simply provide definitions which may be referred back to in future articles and will hopefully help to create a common base of meaning to have clearer conversations.
In addition to the three terms above, we will also drill down on different forms of consent breaches, which I will refer to as “explicit consent violation,” “compromised consent,” and “ambiguous consent.”
Three Categories
All sexual misconduct can be broadly grouped into three categories: consent violation, sexual assault, and rape. Part of the confusion comes of the fact that each category includes the more severe categories. Sexual assault and rape are both forms of consent violation. Rape is a form of sexual assault. Thus we find ambiguity when it is said that someone is accused of a “consent violation” but no other information is given. That could mean anything from giving a shoulder rub without permission to forcible rape, and people will often draw their own conclusions based their own biases and experiences.
For this reason, it is important to be clear when describing an accusation, and the best way to do that would be to use the most severe term that describes a situation, so an individual accused of forcible rape should be said to be accused of “rape” rather than to be accused of “consent violation.”
This clarity can become very important. Let’s imagine that a man made out with a woman while she was drunk. She then files an accusation and it gets out that he is accused of a “consent violation” but no other information is provided, as often happens for privacy reasons. Some people will assume that it is a very serious situation like rape. Suddenly, a man who had a drunken snog at a party is being called a “rapist” by some in the public. Conversely, if a rape had actually occurred, and it was referred to as a “consent violation,” then people might conclude that it was a much more minor offense than it actually was, which is also very unfortunate.
It is best to be as clear as possible, especially when discussing matters that are so important to the people involved.
Later in this article, I have created a simple 3x3 matrix which could be used to classify a situation, although I don’t flatter myself that so many people will read this article that the idea of a “Type IV misconduct” will find its way into common discourse, but it would provide a lot of clarity if it did.
The terms “consent violation,” “sexual assault,” and “rape” are bandied about often, but without a clear understanding of the specific definitions of each term, vague language can lead to a less serious situation being mistaken for a more serious situation or a more serious mistaken for less, and the consequences of a misunderstanding in either direction can be profound.
The purpose of this article is to simply provide definitions which may be referred back to in future articles and will hopefully help to create a common base of meaning to have clearer conversations.
In addition to the three terms above, we will also drill down on different forms of consent breaches, which I will refer to as “explicit consent violation,” “compromised consent,” and “ambiguous consent.”
Three Categories
All sexual misconduct can be broadly grouped into three categories: consent violation, sexual assault, and rape. Part of the confusion comes of the fact that each category includes the more severe categories. Sexual assault and rape are both forms of consent violation. Rape is a form of sexual assault. Thus we find ambiguity when it is said that someone is accused of a “consent violation” but no other information is given. That could mean anything from giving a shoulder rub without permission to forcible rape, and people will often draw their own conclusions based their own biases and experiences.
For this reason, it is important to be clear when describing an accusation, and the best way to do that would be to use the most severe term that describes a situation, so an individual accused of forcible rape should be said to be accused of “rape” rather than to be accused of “consent violation.”
This clarity can become very important. Let’s imagine that a man made out with a woman while she was drunk. She then files an accusation and it gets out that he is accused of a “consent violation” but no other information is provided, as often happens for privacy reasons. Some people will assume that it is a very serious situation like rape. Suddenly, a man who had a drunken snog at a party is being called a “rapist” by some in the public. Conversely, if a rape had actually occurred, and it was referred to as a “consent violation,” then people might conclude that it was a much more minor offense than it actually was, which is also very unfortunate.
It is best to be as clear as possible, especially when discussing matters that are so important to the people involved.
Later in this article, I have created a simple 3x3 matrix which could be used to classify a situation, although I don’t flatter myself that so many people will read this article that the idea of a “Type IV misconduct” will find its way into common discourse, but it would provide a lot of clarity if it did.
Consent Violation
A consent violation generally means any situation in which one person does something to another without their consent. Technically, it can refer to something as pedestrian as borrowing their hair brush or juggling balls without asking. Generally, it has a more sexual connotation, but it can still be something as minor as a hug without permission.
A lot of forms of sexual harassment fall into this category: unwanted hugs, backrubs, etc.
This term comes up more often in the kink (or fetish) scene where consent is a more complex concept. In vanilla (or non-kinky) sexual interactions, consent tends to be more black and white. One has consent for sexual activities or not. There might be a few points a which consent should be confirmed, but the process is fairly linear.
In fetish/kink interactions, consent is much more complicated. Scenes are negotiated, and specific activities are consented to or not. There is not a clear standard of what specific things need negotiation and what are implied, and not everyone agrees, which leads to many situations in which consent is violated. Often these situations are resolved with a conversation and an apology, but some people routinely violate consent and fail to learn from their mistakes, and that is when it becomes a more serious issue.
Strictly speaking, sexual assault and rape are both forms of consent violation, but it is more properly referred to as sexual assault once force and/or sexual contact is involved.
Something like a one time butt slap or a quick breast grope is more of a consent violation than sexual assault, but pinning a woman and forcibly touching her in inappropriate areas would clearly be assault. Like many issues in this domain, the lines between one definition and another can be blurry.
Attempted rape would also fall firmly into the category of sexual assault.
Forms of Consent Violations
For the purpose of clarity, let us define three levels of consent violations: “express consent violation,” “compromised consent,” and “ambiguous consent.” While all consent violations are unfortunate, there is a world of difference between a person believing they had consent because they failed to confirm and a person getting an explicit “no” and choosing to proceed anyway.
If a person is drugged or intentionally tricked into getting drunk, it moves from a compromised consent situation to an explicit consent violation situation because the victim would not have consented to being drugged.
When I refer to a power differential, I am talking about a situation such as a handsy boss. The subordinate may not feel comfortable refusing the advances because they fear that there could be professional consequences if they were to do so.
This area can become somewhat fuzzy because there are many grey areas. How great is a power differential in a given situation? How drunk is drunk? Is a person competent or incompetent to consent? Obviously if a person is passed out drunk or has an IQ of 47, they are not able to consent, but what about after a few drinks but they hold their liquor well? What about a person with a mental impairment that the person making the advance could not be aware of?
This term comes up more often in the kink (or fetish) scene where consent is a more complex concept. In vanilla (or non-kinky) sexual interactions, consent tends to be more black and white. One has consent for sexual activities or not. There might be a few points a which consent should be confirmed, but the process is fairly linear.
In fetish/kink interactions, consent is much more complicated. Scenes are negotiated, and specific activities are consented to or not. There is not a clear standard of what specific things need negotiation and what are implied, and not everyone agrees, which leads to many situations in which consent is violated. Often these situations are resolved with a conversation and an apology, but some people routinely violate consent and fail to learn from their mistakes, and that is when it becomes a more serious issue.
Strictly speaking, sexual assault and rape are both forms of consent violation, but it is more properly referred to as sexual assault once force and/or sexual contact is involved.
Sexual Assault
This level of misconduct is any sexual contact where there is not consent and that involves either physical force of a sexual nature or sexual contact (touching sexual parts of the body). This crosses the line to rape when non-consensual penetration occurs, either with a foreign object, a body part (such as a finger) or a penis. Similar to consent violations, rape is a form of sexual assault, but it is best to refer to a rape situation as a rape situation rather than a sexual assault situation in order to remove ambiguity.Something like a one time butt slap or a quick breast grope is more of a consent violation than sexual assault, but pinning a woman and forcibly touching her in inappropriate areas would clearly be assault. Like many issues in this domain, the lines between one definition and another can be blurry.
Attempted rape would also fall firmly into the category of sexual assault.
Rape
Any non-consensual penetration of any orifice with any object is considered rape.Forms of Consent Violations
For the purpose of clarity, let us define three levels of consent violations: “express consent violation,” “compromised consent,” and “ambiguous consent.” While all consent violations are unfortunate, there is a world of difference between a person believing they had consent because they failed to confirm and a person getting an explicit “no” and choosing to proceed anyway.
Express Consent Violation
This form of consent violation is the clear and unambiguous situation in which she says no and he says go. There is no question in this situation that the violator is aware that he is violating consent. The victim has made it clear that the violator should stop and the violator is choosing not to.
Compromised Consent
This is a situation in which the victim has not expressly refused consent, or may have even granted consent but the consent is not fully valid for some reason. Reasons may include inebriation due to drugs or alcohol, illness, mental impairment, age, or even social or political power differential.If a person is drugged or intentionally tricked into getting drunk, it moves from a compromised consent situation to an explicit consent violation situation because the victim would not have consented to being drugged.
When I refer to a power differential, I am talking about a situation such as a handsy boss. The subordinate may not feel comfortable refusing the advances because they fear that there could be professional consequences if they were to do so.
This area can become somewhat fuzzy because there are many grey areas. How great is a power differential in a given situation? How drunk is drunk? Is a person competent or incompetent to consent? Obviously if a person is passed out drunk or has an IQ of 47, they are not able to consent, but what about after a few drinks but they hold their liquor well? What about a person with a mental impairment that the person making the advance could not be aware of?
There are even some who believe that a person can reach an altered mental state, due to intense arousal or intense stimulation, within the sexual interaction which would suggest that consent to continue or engage in additional activities which is given during a sexual encounter might compromised.
As you can see, it can get quite complicated.
For the purpose of clarity, I’m going to offer an example of each of the 9 scenarios described below.
- The sex in the story Cat Person
- Pat is well respected, a social superior or maybe just older than Rae. Pat takes advantage of this dynamic to have physical relations with Rae.
- Harvey Weinstein asking women to watch him shower, which they cannot refuse due to the power dynamics.
- Pat is a well respected member of a community or sub-culture that Rae is part of. Rae is attracted to Pat’s position of esteem and consents to sex because of it.
- Rae is below the age of consent and Pat has sex with Rae.
As you can see, it can get quite complicated.
Ambiguous Consent
The concept of “enthusiastic consent” exists to eliminate this area. In an ambiguous consent situation, the individual does not explicitly refuse consent, they are aware of the situation and able to refuse, but they don’t. They also don’t clearly consent. They simply let things happen.
Consent Matrix
With three forms of consent failures and three levels of misconduct, we are looking at 9 possible situations, which are vastly different levels of severity. The difference from asking to give someone a backrub and proceeding without clear permission and dragging a victim into the bushes and raping them is quite dramatic.For the purpose of clarity, I’m going to offer an example of each of the 9 scenarios described below.
I - Ambiguous Consent/Consent Violation
- Pat asks Rae if they can given them a back rub. Rae gives no clear answer, and Pat proceeds to give the back rub.
II - Ambiguous Consent/Sexual Contact
- Pat initiates making out with Rae. Rae neither resists not actively consents, but it’s something that Rae would rather not do.
III - Ambiguous Consent/Sex
- Pat is making out with Rae and initiates penetrative sex. Rae does not stop Pat, but does not encourage Pat either.- The sex in the story Cat Person
IV - Compromised Consent/Consent Violation
- Pat is Rae’s work supervisor and has a habit of making physical contact such as shoulder rubs, hugs, etc. Rae is not comfortable with it, but is concerned that complaining may have career implications.
V - Compromised Consent/Sexual Contact
- Rae is drunk at a party and Pat propositions Rae. Rae might or might not have consented when sober, but the lowered inhibitions caused by drinking.- Pat is well respected, a social superior or maybe just older than Rae. Pat takes advantage of this dynamic to have physical relations with Rae.
- Harvey Weinstein asking women to watch him shower, which they cannot refuse due to the power dynamics.
VI - Compromised Consent/Sex
- Pat is Rae’s professional superior. Pat makes an overture, with no clearly implied professional threat if Rae declines, and Rae accepts.- Pat is a well respected member of a community or sub-culture that Rae is part of. Rae is attracted to Pat’s position of esteem and consents to sex because of it.
VI - Compromised Consent/Rape
- Rae is drunk and Pat has sex with Rae.- Rae is below the age of consent and Pat has sex with Rae.
VII - Explicit Consent Violation/Consent Violation
- Pat regularly hugs and is affectionate with Rae even though Rae asks pat not to.
VIII - Explicit Consent Violation/Sexual Assault
- Any situation in which the victim resists or even verbally denies consent and the assailant proceeds anyway. A clearly illegal situation.
IX - Explicit Consent Violation/Rape
- Any situation in which the victim resists or even verbally denies consent for penetrative sex and the assailant does so anyway. Includes attack by a stranger as well a date rape. Clearly illegal and deserving of the harshest of punishments.
Conclusion
Life is complicated, and sex even more so. The purpose of this article is to create some sort of common terminology to be used in discussing different ways in which consent can go wrong in sexual relations, and to allow the differentiation of more minor errors of judgement from volitional violations and assaults.
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