Amy Wilder,, from Facebook, 2/10/21, posted with permission.
I talked to a LOT of women yesterday. I’m talking to more of them today.
I was determined to “do this right” but you know what? Fuck that. I’m not responsible for the weight of the world, I’m saying my piece only to protect potential victims, I am in therapy and I am happy, I won’t have that taken away. I do not want pity, I do not want to “talk about it”, I am not a victim anymore.
Thomas Dean Willeford is an abuser and a manipulator, he uses the guise of “kink” to hurt people. “Agree to this or I will break up with you” is NOT getting consent. He’s not “poly”, he’s a serial cheater, he’s not “kinky”, he gets off on making people do things they don’t like. He shows personal photos and videos to others freely without permission, he defames the characters of the women that love and trust him, he uses people for money, for free labor, and for gratification. He uses kindness and favors to gaslight the people he traumatizes. I don’t care who believes me, I don’t care how he tries to defame me. If this saves one single person from getting hurt like so many others, it’s worth it.
I have worked my ass off to break the hold he had over me, I am still working my ass off to be who I want to be. I am building a new life that I am very very proud of, I’m happy for the first time in a long long while.
Know the people you choose to associate with.