The Wicked World's Fair - one of the videos

 I want to shout-out all the vendors who are making information public regarding the failure of Wicked Worlds Fair. You all found yourselves in a very bad situation and you are taking control of it. I'm sorry that no one warned you before you got involved with JM but I am so glad to see you all raising awareness!

This is the most enlightening video with the best angle that I've seen. Many thanks to "The Nail in the Coffin" for posting the original. I apologize for the screen recording.

 

More videos can be found: 

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPR3sroRN/

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTL1SDMYC/

Gaslighting and Suicide Prevention Information

Information from a now-removed post (at contact's request). 

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, Available 24 hours, 800-273-8255

NJ Suicide Prevention Hopeline

I don't think JM has owned up to any of his mistakes; I don't think he regrets anything he's done to hurt other people; and I really think he needs to stop running events. But I still don't think suicide is an answer. (Yes, I am also aware that he has threatened suicide before in order to get attention, but every suicide threat should be treated as credible and professional help is never a bad idea). 

3) Two images to help handle gaslighting: 

Responding to Gaslighting

• When possible, don't engage
• "We remember things differently"
• "I hear you. That isn't my experience"
• "I'm stepping away from this conversation"
• "If you continue to speak to me in this way, I'm not engaging"
• "I'm open to discussing a solution with you. I'm not open to debating my feelings."

Responding to a Gaslighter: 

• We remember things differently
• If you continue to speak to me like this, I'm not engaging
• I hear you and that isn't my experience
• I know my truth and I'm not debating it with you
• I'm stepping away from this conversation 

I hope that information is helpful.  

Reminders (Feb 2021 edition)

 A few reminders for all folks: 

Public gatherings are not safe at this time due to the COVID-19 pandemic. 

Virtual events are fine, as long as the people presenting are safe (i.e., not all gathered in one place).

There is a chronic abuse problem in the convention community (as pointed out here). 

I only post what I hear. I don't hear everything. If something needs to be corrected, updated, posted about, I need to be contacted (email, or I do read all the comments on this blog. In fact, I approve 99% of them for public consumption as well). 

This blog is not my sole focus. I took almost a whole year off and only started posting again because I was asked to (I made one post between Jan 2020 and Dec 2020, in regards to a dear friend's passing). I was contacted and asked to post about possible local predators in the scene, hence my post about looking for more information (here), partly based on the original Broken Staircase spreadsheet. 

There are awful people, and awful situations, in the convention community. There are also people who don't understand that no means no, even if that isn't your safe word (at least check in with your partner, please). Yes, there are two sides to every story, but the person initiating the abuse/consent violation may not understand that they are going past boundaries (or they may not care), so therefore, we must listen to the victim, especially once it moves beyond just the people directly involved. Also, please don't forget that people can get into abusive relationships and not realize it at the time. That doesn't mean that their trauma is not valid. 

I digress. 

No matter who you are, no matter where you live, please stay safe out there. 

links: 

Trauma Informed Care

Best Online Therapy Programs

National Domestic Abuse Hotline

Signs of an abusive relationship

Warning signs of gaslighting

CDC travel during COVID-19

Precautionary Quarantine Requirements (NY State)